| wow! has it really been that long since i've posted? oh say it isn't so! well, let's see if i can do a relatively short update: -still working at Sauce. i like working there. if i didn't have to work that would be even better, but i figure this: if one has to work at all, they might as well enjoy it. -school is almost out. my last day should be next thursday. yay! can't wait. as much as i loved learning about film and media (the area where i feel called), i must confess that this semester has been absolutely, positively, totally and completly nuts. most weeks i work three days (sometimes four), and i'd have classes two days a week; it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that this kind of schedule does not leave much time for socializing, or being with family. that's been the hardest part, i think- not being with my family as much. over the summer when i wasn't working or anything i really got used to just getting up and sort of moseying through the day with my mom and siblings. it's not that i hated college. on the contrary, i liked it. getting hands-on experience in basic filmmaking was one of the most beneficial aspects of school. of course there were some annoying areas of the classes that drove me crazy; and there was one particular class which accounts for my extreme depletion of blood, sweat and tears; not to mention acquiring on-set neurosis... *be glad you can't see me twitching right now!*. what i didn't like was the combination of school and work. if i could have just gone to school, things may have been different. i don't know- i'm not God. but this whole semester has not been a wash. it's been one of the most maturing seasons of my life so far; i hope! a couple weeks ago, my dad asked me about registering for spring classes. he wanted to know if and when i was planning to do that, and which classes i'd be taking. perhaps it was how i was feeling in that particular moment, but i didn't have an answer for him. i just sort of bubmled around a bunch of reasons i would or wouldn't continue. eventually, i knew that running from this issue that needed an answer, wasn't going to work. i'd pray on and off; more like drive-by prayers. you know, the one's where something happens and it makes you just "drive" a prayer by- "God, i don't know what to do" or "Lord help us all!". anyways, eventually i forced myself to make time with the Lord. listening to the opinions of others often helps me to see where i'm wrong, turing me back to God to seek His will on the matter. that's exactly what happened. i'd pulled out a book my parents had given me a couple years ago, called "So Much More" by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin. great book. the Lord has blessed these two young ladies with wisdom. i'd read the book before, but i don't think i finished it. well, listening to their opinions and advice on certain subjects lead me to some scripture that clarified things for me. at the end of that "session" i felt that i needed to stay home for this next semester. the peace that i have about the whole thing is amazing. i'm still trying to discern if it's peace or that i'm just so ready to be done with school right now that any idea of escape sounds good. i think it's peace, though. but that's the great part: usually, i need to be able to plan the major parts of life at least five years in advance, but now i don't care. i've truly given up, and i've stepped out in faith. i don't know what's going to happen in this next season. i don't know what'll happen after. maybe summer will roll around and the Lord will tell me to take a class. or maybe it'll happen in the fall that i'll start up again full time. or maybe i'll never go back to college as a student again. i don't know. but i'm okay with that. maybe that's what the Lord really wanted me to learn through this whole experience; i need to really truly be okay with not being in control, not just saying that i am. but it's awesome to see how God works things out in His timing. i'll still be working, since there are still some financial obligations that i have. which is fine- like i said, i usually only work three days a week. take away school and that still leaves plenty of time to shlepp through the day with mom and the little peeps. watch movies, play games, help with their school, do stuff around the house, crochet (yes, i've shifted from knitting), write (a new passion, thanks to a kind writing 101 teacher) play around with film and video stuff; those sort of things. as for work, i do believe that God will work things out in His timing. i just have to be patient and obedient. so, that was a long drawn out post! i hope i haven't confused anyone; i know i can sometimes be all over the place when i write. good news though: Hanukah is here! last night was the first night, and tonight we read this adorable story about a little boy who gets a cute kitten for Hanukah. my parents presented my brothers and sister with this totally cool building block set. it's made out of some neat-o kind of maple or oak and it's been "cut to precision" so it's really flate and balanced. we all sat there for an hour making random creations. yes, we are a family who is easily entertained! okay, i gotta go to bed. after tomorrow i'll only have one more day of classes. hope all is well with you all and your families; stay well! ---aria =) |
